8 Simple Ways To Start Setting Boundaries You Can Actually Keep
Think through what you want to say
This is a delicate conversation to have, so plan it out and be clear about what you're going to say. Don't wing it.
Ask for a talk
Formal, yes, but doing so signals to the other person that this issue is important to you.
Convey your message and explain it
It would mean a lot to me if you could promise me not to come over during the workday.
violate the boundary
if you come during the workday, I won't buzz you into the building. I'll hate doing it and I don't want to be rude but my work is suffering and I don't want to risk my job.
reassure them if necessary
I understand your feelings are hurt, but I'm not saying I don't want to see you, I'm saying I want to see you when I'm not working.
Thank them for listening
This is a crucial step. Do not skip it.
Acknowledge efforts to change briefly and causally
Mom, I had a productive week at work. Thanks for hearing me. It means a lot to me.
Mom texts a week later: "Honey, I know you're working but I got you this lovely blouse so I'll just stop by quickly to give it to you. Super quick.