8 Simple Ways To Start Setting Boundaries You Can Actually Keep

Think through what you want to say

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Ask for a talk

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Convey your message and explain it

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violate the boundary

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reassure them if necessary

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Thank them for listening

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Acknowledge efforts to change briefly and causally

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Mom texts a week later: "Honey, I know you're working but I got you this lovely blouse so I'll just stop by quickly to give it to you. Super quick.

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8 Simple Ways To Start Setting Boundaries You Can Actually Keep

Think through what you want to say

This is a delicate conversation to have, so plan it out and be clear about what you're going to say. Don't wing it.

Ask for a talk

Formal, yes, but doing so signals to the other person that this issue is important to you.

Convey your message and explain it

It would mean a lot to me if you could promise me not to come over during the workday.

violate the boundary

if you come during the workday, I won't buzz you into the building. I'll hate doing it and I don't want to be rude but my work is suffering and I don't want to risk my job.

reassure them if necessary

I understand your feelings are hurt, but I'm not saying I don't want to see you, I'm saying I want to see you when I'm not working.

Thank them for listening

This is a crucial step. Do not skip it.

Acknowledge efforts to change briefly and causally

Mom, I had a productive week at work. Thanks for hearing me. It means a lot to me.

Mom texts a week later: "Honey, I know you're working but I got you this lovely blouse so I'll just stop by quickly to give it to you. Super quick.

When they violate the boundary again

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